My favourite part was actually coming to the realization that I am fit. Like, really fit. I can properly enter races and compete in things again now, if I feel like it! I’m strong and toned. It’s pretty sweet to have gladiator legs and a core of steel.
(I work hard for this! I’m allowed to brag.)
LET’S RACE THE PRIZE IS FOOD
I’m keeping it classy by eating some turkey lunch meat right out of the bag (which is hidden in my pocket for even MORE class). U jelly?
Falling asleep while I try to get myself ready. First, an hour session with my trainer, and then, an hour session where I’m the trainer for two other people. Did I mention I slept like shit? Nightmares about a robot dog, along with hourly wake-ups and tons of tossing and turning. Ugh.
Time to head out.
I feel bad, but considering I feel like total rot I wanted to warn her that I wouldn’t be bringing my food journal tomorrow, specifically because I’ve forgotten to keep it this week. She told me to bring it anyway, and I had to tell her no, I won’t, because it is empty this week. It blows for me too, girl, but please understand that I am perfectly intelligent enough to understand your use of rhetorical, specifically-worded questions, along with their purpose. I get it. I do. I need to eat and I’m doing my best to keep up with it (you have completely changed my dietary patterns, okay? It takes a bit of getting used to), but you’ve got to cut me some slack - if I’m having a hard time getting out of bed or, you know, seeing, then maybe opting out of writing down my third snack of the day isn’t the most terrible of sins.
Now that I’ve made all those texts, I feel like more shit. She only wants to help me, but I think she sometimes forgets that I’m not going to be able to do it all all at once. That’s what landed me back in Hell in the first place. I have to take it slowly even if I don’t want to (fuck, I push myself harder than I should 99% of the time already) but one thing I absolutely will not suck up is someone placing undue pressure on me for something far less significant than reality states. I’ve had enough of that in my life.
tldr; I’m going to lay here in massive migraine pain and try not to cry for yelling at someone who I didn’t want to yell at. I seem to be doing well at standing up for myself this week, though.
